“Drown out”

In what direction does the wind need

To carry my voice to land

Inside working ears?

How loud do I need

To yell so that the sound

Waves can travel far

Enough? For the first time,

In a long time,

I’m beginning to hope

That my words have

A purpose - that I have

A purpose. My vocal cords

Were still because you

Taught me those vibrations

Were dangerous. Making waves

From inside would disrupt the whole

Ecosystem. But it wasn’t the ecosystem.

It was the system.

I didn’t believe

In the power I had,

That we all have.

But my fire did not

Go out. My coffee

Has been brewing.

I have been stewing.

I’ve been simmering

To get out. Not too long

Ago, I overflowed

Out of the pot that you

Gave me. My insides sitting

Outside of my body on display.

You had nothing to say.

Helpful intentions feel shallow

In deep water. I know you didn’t

Mean to let me d(r)own.

I had no choice but to scream.

I didn’t want to die.

I just wanted a hand

To remind me

That I am alive.

That my feelings are valid.

That I’m not crazy.

That I’m not stupid.

That they love me,

Their baby.

Since then, I’ve felt compelled

To speak. I’m not trying

To be rude. I just think

That you should know

What I think.

But aren’t we the same?

We’re just falling

Together

Through the cosmos.

We, just so happened,

To be called

To each other.

I know, you will learn

To tolerate my unending

Whining about the world

Upending. And I will

Accept that everything

I say to you is not

Your native language.

If you don’t feel

Compelled to find

Me in the silence

That rests

between us, I’ll

Trust your blindness

Will lead you back to me.

Even though you

May try to drown

Me out, I will keep

Searching through

The fear. I will sing

Through the dark. I will

Find the right breeze.